Divorce part 2…to sell or not to sell this is the question…

After writing Divorce part 1 about lawyers I did e-mail the old “late” lawyer to see how much she would charge me.  I want to go the free do it myself and just pay filing fees…and I think I figured it out…I’ll explain in part three….but right now *drum roll*…part two

To sell or not to sell the house?

At the moment I’m leaning on selling.  I don’t want to its my dream home.   But here’s my list of problems.

Alone between bills, even if I shut everything off including phone, cell, tv, computer…I still can not afford to live off my pay check.

….yes, i can live without tv etc.  Been a single mother before.  I spend 3.5 years without any TV, no christmas trees, no central heat and air. Traveled over 100 miles a day to get back and forth to work.  I could keep telling you my tragic tale, but I don’t think it was tragic.  It was likely some of the best days of my life.  Kids don’t miss what they never had and once they don’t have it for awhile…well they don’t really miss it.

…But why live pay check to pay check when you don’t have to?  I like to have money saved back.  I like to be able to go out, have fast food, have emergency money…and right now my cars paid off, what if I suddenly have to buy a new one (ugh!).  I would like to spoil my kids now and then.

 If giving up my dream home and getting a small apartment is money saved…isn’t that the right choice?

 Is it?  

A home you own is worth something.

 Unlike a car or pickup, the longer you’re in a home the value goes up.  It’s like having a stock option that keeps going up in value.  Sure, might cost more each month to keep, but in the long run it pays for itself.  So?  Is it the right choice?  Keep the house or sell it?

If I try to keep it, here’s what I know.

First (for you that might go through the same thing)…lets all assume we are all getting a divorce.  Now each state is different but will just use mine as an example..  I don’t have all the t’s crossed on the whole kitten caboodle, but you’ll get the gist of some of the things you need to do.

If you and your spouse both have your names on title/loan whether you were married during that time or not you can get your house refinanced.  However, remember if you get a divorce you automatically have to refinance the house again.  So you would want to do one of two things…


         1. Get a “Legal Separation agreement”.    Now both spouses have to sign it and one has to agree to give the home over.

2.  Get a divorce and of course the spouse that got the home, if it’s in the final agreement and agreed upon will just need to show that.

3.  If you have any kids get ready with copies of birth certificates.  Depending on your home loan they will ask for a variety of papers.

Notes:  If you never were late on a mortgage payment, and have never refinanced your mortgage before your apparently in luck.  (apparently I’m in luck.  I just don’t know whether I should wait on that luck.)

3. FHA loans.

a. Did you know if you have a FHA loan you can get a stream line mortgage which means unlike other loans you don’t have to get another reprasal for the loan?  New to me or course.

b. Did you know that if you have a FHA loan it’s a fantastic selling point.  If someone qualifies for FHA loan they can literally just assume the old loan.  In short sell transferable.  (I’m not a mortgage person or realtor so I don’t know all the technical side)

I spoke to one loan place and they are willing to give me a new loan if I qualify.  But she quoted higher interest rate…and  though fixed etc…I just don’t know with the taxes rolled in if it would actually be cheaper.  Which makes me nervous.

Do I go get the divorce, pray I can keep up with payments during this time. once done, then try to get remorgaged..and pray I qualify for significant cheaper rate?

Do I cut my losses, cry like a baby, drive by now and then and think how my dream home that picked me was having to be sacrificed…and live in apartment. Which I know I’ll go crazy because I won’t have my trees, grass, garden, can’t lay out in the yard and water the grass.  can’t feed the birds left overs, and go digging around the yard to rearrange things.  UGH…

I think I’m gonna sacrifice.   I’m still on the scale of one way or the other.  If I could have a guaranteed remorgage before the divorce I think I would stay if I know I could afford it…but life isn’t like that.  It’s a gamble and I’m not a gambling fool.  I’d rather play it safe….but I have to write this down because it helps me think.

So thank you for thinking with me. *LOL*  I’m at 89% sell the home right now.


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