My husband and his mistress

I looked for the setting on word press because right now I need to cuss like a sailor.  However, try as I might I could not find the setting for 18 or older so this rant will be ….tame.

I can’t get into the whole weekend but lets just say Saturday afternoon was full of love, cuddling, and I love youse.  He then rented some movies and introduced me to a new app called “trivia crack”.  It was a lot of fun.  He sat on one side of the couch I sat on the opposite challenging each other and laughing about it.  He’d occasionally stare at me and then suddenly smile “I truly love you.” He’d whisper.  I’d laugh at him, he’d laugh back.  The movie we rented was a bomb, which made it all the much more fun to play against each other on the app.  But I knew something was wrong.  I knew…

man-cheat

The night before I went off on him and told him I knew he was cheating on me.  Of course the fight broke ensued to where I eventually had to lock myself in the bathroom and curl up on a ball and cry while sitting on the counter.  I stayed there until he could calm down.  His cuss words and anger could flare like a fire cracker.  We fought for hours.  He tried convincing me I was crazy, didn’t know what I was talking about.  Why would he be there if he didn’t love me and why would he give up everything in his family for a fling on the side.  These are words I have heard before, in fact he’s the one man I kept in my life even when I had found out about his past affairs with me.

What?  Did you hear me right….You heard it right.  I can’t go through the whole kitten caboodle but lets just say I left, there was apology, and I love you, I won’t do it again.. etc.  Every bone in my body stated to leave him but my mother, whom also though I should leave him, stated one thing.  “Just make sure you still don’t love him.  Never leave a man you still love.”…well….crockodile!

I stayed…..

wolves

The second time I kicked his wahoo to the curb.  Then we went to counseling.  He stated it was due to the drinking and he would go get help.   I was still madly in love with this guy.  He was sooo good, so good to me…and yet sooo bad, so bad for me.  It was like a sadiomasticistic sort of love.

Ah, you can say that maybe I was one of those women that just can’t leave a man who’s cheated on her….You’d be wrong.

You see I left my first husband so fast when I found out he was cheating on me his head spinned…and I think the poor guy’s head is still spinning…

That’s what attracted me to my second husband.  I was single for five years.  Never in a rush to settle down from the hurt of my first marriage.  That’s when I meet him.  He had been married also, and had divorced his wife for cheating on him.  In fact he’d caught them in bed together.  In fact he took pictures of them together to show the court.  We had vowed that we would love each other and would promise if we even thought about cheating we would tell the other or at least end the relationship.  Respect for someone you truly love.

…but he cheated…the lying….bat

So, I knew…I always know.  I just needed to know I was right.  I needed to know I had to let go and truly stop loving a man that had done a 90 degree turn in his life.  In fact that’s how he convinced me.  The past drunk had stopped drinking completely…not even a drop.  He had gone to counseling with me again, new counselor.  He would attend church with me or watch my church in tV.  He did it without complain, he did it without judgement.  He called me everyday, left messages of “I love you” every morning.  He’d wrap his arms around me and snuggle his face against the top of my head.  Telling me how good I smelled, how he missed me each day.   I could go on and on…and on.  It was almost to the point he was drowning me.  So, yes he put doubts in my mind.

But I knew…I knew but I just couldn’t get myself to leave him without knowing I was right.  I could not trust myself to break my own heart and wonder for the rest of my life if he had truly changed for me.  The day before Friday, while he was away I was desperate and took what ideas I could scrounge up.  I sprinkled salt ….everywhere.  I swear I covered myself with rosemary…and ate some for good measure.  I slept for two nights with black obsideon…and prayed constantly for God to help me.  those two nights I had nightmares every night.  I just knew….

So Saturday night as I was cuddled into the sofa pillows and thinking…but I know I’m right…he’s lying.   I remember getting up and coming back to the couch.  I looked at him and he looked back.  “I love you” he stated again “you do love me right?”  I sat down thinking I did…but inside I could feel the hate boiling inside.  I let out a growl, but I ignored it and cuddled back into the sofa. “Are you sure?” He asked.  “Your growling like you either angry or you want to eat me.”  He blinked almost worried.  “Oh,”  I say “I’m just hungry..”  I lied…I lied.  It’s very hard for me to lie.  As we go back to playing the game I suddenly receive a test from a number I do not know.

Text: “I am sorry but I just want you to know I’m done with him, you can have him”.

*blink, blink* I keep staring at the text…

Now the canis lupus in me really wants to attack….but I take a breath.  My husband sinces something “what are you doing over there? ”   “Just trying to figure this question out.”  I state …only half a lie because at the same time I keep playing the app game.

I Text back : “Who is this”

*blink…blink….blink” I keep staring at the screen….and nothing…..nothing.  I wait because I can feel it.  I can feel the vibe from the screen.  This woman on the other line is pissed….and scared.

*blink, play game, blink, play game*  I keep waiting.  Dag Nab IT, I’m gonna have to pull her out of the wood works.

I text again: “Falker is this you?”  The woman is probably surprised I even know it’s her.   She’ll have to answer.  If it’s not a girl named Falker she’s likely to get even more pissed.

Text comes back to me: “Yes, my name is Danna.  Your husband and I have been having an affair for over a year now.  I wanted to let you know it’s over with now and you can have him and to apologize to you.”

I glance at my husband whom puckers up his lips and makes a kiss to me. “I’m beating you on this game” he says happily since I had beat him the last three games. I smile sweetly back inside I die.  I have to breath to keep my hands from shaking.  I am between ecstatic for God to give me the answer in black and while right in my lap, and horrified that after everything….everything…OH GOD!

so….so I’m writing this more for myself then for anybody.  I’m embarrassed that I let a man actually cheat that many times on me.  I’m horrified that a man I loved (past tense) would want to hurt someone like that.  To all the cheaters out there.  I promise you there’s swinger couples out there.  Stay single, or find a man or woman who swings.  Why, Why would you, how could you…be so selfish.

So I told my husband not to call me.  I told him he could text…and how I’m having to get a lawyer.  I might have to lose the house and my possessions again…but there just objects.  I cleaned out our bed room and moved all his stuff in another room.  He should be happy I didn’t set them on fire out in the front yard.  I’m….ok.  I am…alright. I hurt.

It really didn’t hit me until I took his bath towel which was still slightly damp to go wash it…and get rid of any smell of him.  But instead I nuzzled by face into the damp down, breathed in his scent, and cried…and cried….

…but tomorrow will be a better day.

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17 thoughts on “My husband and his mistress

  1. Hello Seepurple,

    I think that you did a good job typing this considering what happened to you, and I think that it was brave of you to share this; and I hope that sharing this has at least brought you a bit of peace/calm/release/et cetera during this sensitive time. 🙂

    Unfortunately I have no experience with these things so there is not much that I can say or do to help (I have never even dated yet, which is odd for someone as old as I am), but I do hope that you find some people you can trust to help support and advise you during this time regardless of how you decide to handle this; and with that help and support I hope that you will have a smooth transition with whatever you decide to do, and I hope that after it is over that your life remains stable and that you will be able to move forward in a positive way.

    I really do wonder why do some people do this, I know it varies depending on the person, but like you said why do they usually not date or marry someone who has no problem with them having romantic relationships with other people (there are people out there like that, and there are places where they can meet/communicate/et cetera with each other; and so why get into relationships with people who you know do not support that)? 😦

    It is terrible and a shame that you have had to deal with this again, I can not imagine how that must feel and how that might/may effect/affect you and your relationships in the future, I just hope that you get the help that you need (if necessary) to recover and move forward for a more positive future.

    -John Jr

  2. Thank you. That really means a lot. I’m divorcing my husband. I’m a firm believer your husband and wife is your mate for life. I can no longer be with someone that does not believe that. I do believe he loves me. He really does, that’s why I think something is broke in him. It’s not normal. At least for me. To me a higher species has more control. Want, yes, we all want something. Heck, I want a pint of chocolate icecream, but every time I see someone with chocolate icecream I don’t just go take it from them. (thought that might be kinda funny)

    GRRRrrrrr, Just grrrrr. I don’t understand people. Never have.

    As much as I’m hurting I do have advise for you. Ummm get out there and date. I don’t know how old you are but if your at least 18 or older you need to go full speed ahead. It’s so true. The saying it’s better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all. Even the pain and heartach I have gone through. The regrets and the feeling I could have accomplished so much more or meet someone who would have cherished me…I don’t regret anything. I love my soon to be ex. I’ll always love him…love him as much as I hate him. But the Blessing I got, the proof I got has helped me hate him enough to move on, but realize that as dumb as I feel I once loved him like no other woman could love another man. (At least in my mind)

    So hurt or not, you really have to go out and live. To close your eyes and just jump.

    1. You are welcome Seepurple, good luck with the divorce, and I agree with your beliefs/opinions on marriage and self-control. 🙂

      Yeah, most of us humans are too complex/confusing/contradictory/unpredictable/et cetera to fully understand in my opinion, and that is a blessing and a curse at times. 😉

      Thank you for the advice Seepurple, and I like your viewpoint there. 🙂

      I hope things work out for you. 🙂

      -John Jr

  3. This is a moving story and an unfortunate thing to happen.

    I am deeply sorry for what happened. But some day the right person will come by and I hope you will be rewarded for your patience and hardship.

    Cheers
    MKT

    1. Thank you. I think I just regret leaving sooner when I knew I should and when he did it in the past. But I loved him and kept thinking just maybe he would change. I tried and on the last one he broke my heart so it’s easy and a great relief to leave him. So I’m terribly excited about being alone and away from all the heartach. Still Thank you, it means soooo much to know people care. At the moment I’m more worried about keeping roof over me and my daughters head and food in our mouth and weather I’ll be able to afford our house. But it’s just something that can be replaced. YOu can’t replace a heart and you can’t replace the past. But you can always replace personal property.

      1. I honestly don’t know what to say. My wife’s mother had experienced something similar. She past away recently. Her husband just left the entire family to suffer. She was young and with five children to take care of on her own. She sacrificed every thing to make sure that her children will get somewhere good. And she fought for it and worked really hard at it. She made a difference and succeeded in doing good for her kids.
        I just wanted to share this story with you because I really admire this woman and what she did for her children.
        Because of her, my wife is a very strong person.
        I am sure you are a strong and resilient woman who will work hard to do good in here community and raise wonderful individuals that will continue the legacy of doing good.
        I wish I can help you in any other way, but unfortunately I am limited to express my support using my humble words.
        I hope this helps.

        Cheers
        MKT

      2. Words have more value to me then any thing. It does help. I’m sorry to hear about your mother in law passing but that’s wonderful to hear your wife learned so much from her. I think that’s all a mother (much like a father wants) for their kids to realize how important their children are. And more important that it’s not the childs fault for the break up. At least I can say my break up had a very very good reason, though it’ll be hard to keep it from my daughter. I probably feel more for the families that break up because one just falls out of love or gets bored. To me that would be horrifying. Thanks for the encouragement, I needed it. P.S. ~ LOVE YOUR BLOG!

  4. Thank you very much for your wonderful thoughts.
    I am sure that you are a great mother and will always be their for your girls. I have a little daughter. She is everything to me.
    You are absolutely right in the things you mentioned here. Unfortunately, people fail to use their cognitive abilities and utilise something called a brain to recognise that there is much more responsibility in having a family than some selfish personal desire.
    Anyway, I don’t what to bring you down. Think happy thoughts, my friend.

    Thanks for liking my blog. I am glad to know that people are benefiting from it. My mission is to serve people and help them explore science.

    Your blog has some very interesting stuff. You have a good way of getting to people. You would make a good writer.

    1. *LOL* Thank you. I had a professor tell me that also. She told me “You’ll be a famous author one day, and I’d like to be your editor”….”because your grammer and spelling suck!” *LOL* Loved her but she’s right. When I was young I had what was called Mirror imagine or something like that. I wrote everything backwards and upside down or something like that. The teachers had to hold it up to a mirror to see what I wrote. I think that backwards mind set makes my words garbled sometimes. *LOL* Poor teachers. They should be paid so much more for teaching all of us.
      I have learned a lot from your blog. Love Science and love to learn new things so your blog is perfect with lots of information.
      I think you named it perfect, especially with the “library” the MKT just makes it like a personal touch sorta like it’s your library and nothing else. Kinda like finding a home and finding a secret library and you get to go through all the books. Pretty fun!

  5. Well, if you really think about it, your sorta backwards writing is a talent that if developed properly, it could be put to some pretty great use.
    Teachers should definitely be paid more! I know that, trust me.. LOL
    I am glad you are learning from my blog.
    I actually started the blog to serve me personally as a personal library. But now I am trying to share it with as many people as I can. Help and get helped sorta thing.
    Soon, I will be having some awesome contributors to the site. I am currently in the process of discussing the details with these guys.
    Hopefully within the following month, I will get some pretty interesting and kinda exclusive articles written for the library and its followers. So please stay tuned.
    You will love the upcoming work.

  6. So men can cheat through trivia crack I found in under my husband app purchased application after along battle of his luring to me about stuff I thought we were past this he say I don’t know how it got there when I put in his email it said welcome back password didn’t work he didn’t know it he angry n lieing then I found out you can chat he doesn’t play games so can he be talking to some one

    1. *huge hugs* I hope you left him. You deserve to live happy. Thank you for letting me know. Its been a roller coaster ride but i divorced mine, sold house, moved, changed job locations, car broke down, got another…and all kinds of other hades and i am soooo much more happy!!! A good woman is suppose to be a rare gem for a man. I guess because theres so many slutty women. Even bible states a man is lucky to have a good woman…so why would you stay with a, man who doesnt care about the treasure he has. Greedy people…grr. i hope you contact me again so i know how your doing. Good luck.

      1. You are alive! 👍

        I was starting to wonder, well it is good to know that you are still alive, and doing better Seepurple.

        -John Jr

      2. Hello Seepurple,

        I am not sure how some people blog from their mobile phones, but maybe getting a keyboard to connect to our mobile phones and tablets could work for people like us. 😀

        Some mobile phones and mobile phone companies allow tethering that allows you to use your mobile phone’s internet connection with devices that support wireless internet (and maybe wired if you are connecting it by USB) like most laptops and tablets, but it varies depending on your plan and company and mobile phone et cetera.

        http://www.howtogeek.com/213329/how-to-share-your-smartphones-internet-connection-hotspots-and-tethering-explained/

        Some libraries and businesses et cetera have free wireless internet as well.

        Some neighbors are willing to share wireless internet as well.

        -John Jr

      3. Oddly I did not get an email alert that you had replied to my comment, but fortunately I saw your reply in the WordPress.com Notification Area.

        Hopefully things work out for you Seepurple, good luck.

        -John Jr

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