Waiting for something …

Sept 6th I told you how antsy I was.  The day was actually a good one considering.  I did have strange things happen such as the cold water knob of the bathroom sink break in my hand as if it had never been attached in it’s objective life.  Of course the cold water was flowing freely and a frenzy and every time I tried to see if I could figure away to turn the water off from the top, more water started to stream from where the knob was.  I went to the control valve at the bottom of the sink to just shut off the cold water before the sink decided it had enough water and decided to over flow from the mass amount of water coming in.  Lucky for me the sink was in a good mood and kept swallowing the water from the faucet but I didn’t know how long before it decided to betray me and fill up faster then swallowing.

On hands and knees I bent down under the cabinet and with and turned the knob to cut off the water supply off….and nothing.  The knob was a sparkly new looking silver, even the hoses going to the top of the sink looked clean, new….so why couldn’t I turn it off.  Was I to weak?  Am I that much of a girl?  Surely not, I’m a girl but I do lift some weights and I can carry 40 lbs like it’s nothing…surely I can turn a knob…but it’s not turning.  Dag nab it…I am such a girl!

Running downstairs I hurridly find the next person to help me.  A young man, healthy, Strong, and he hurridly runs unstairs and tries shutting off the water….and now he can’t turn it off.  I’m almost happy with this…almost.  If the water wasn’t running like mad.  If the water escapes it’ll flood my top story  and then I’ll have ceiling damage.  So Next…time to call another man.  Quickly I call my 911 to the next strongest and capable man, whom begins an array of calling other capable and strong men.  As I hear the debate on the phone of men saying “did she try this” “did she try that” “did she turn it the right way” “use a wrench”…my patience wears thin.  What? Do they think I’m a city chick or something!  “I’ve tried that” I exasperate.  Which causes me to loose my girly temper.  “Calm down” I hear a voice of reason state over the phone.  “I’m not trying to fight with you.  I’m just trying to figure this out since I can’t be there.” he tells me.

My irritated man on the phone starts naming some of the guys on the street.  Go over there and ask him to see if he can at least shut the water off.  I know he’s right but I don’t like that man.  I don’t trust him and I know he’d charge me for it.  I shake my head and get angry again “I don’t like him.  I don’t want to ask him.”  I fiddle with trying to shut the water off again by going under the sink.  Every time I try to use the wrench on the metal I can feel the the hoses and the metal knob turning in a ~I will snap~ sorta way.  I can’t have that…otherwise I will flood the floor.

“Just tell me how to turn off the water to the house completely”.   I’ve seen it done but I’d never did it myself.  The deep voice tells me the instructions.  I am to find a metal t-post looking bar and I need that to turn off the water supply to the whole house.  I remember working in the yard and seeing something like that in the storage shed in the back.  Sliding on some flip flops, grabbing a flash light I head for the storage shed in the back.  I throw my hands up in the air now and then under the trees so if there’s any spiders spinning their web of dreams in the dark I can knock them down before they get in my hair.  Ugh, I love spiders but I hate getting in their webs.  Mostly the black widows who’s webs are like steal traps and hard to break compared to others webs.  We have a widow problem, have had widow problems.  They love our house, especially our trees.  I blame the globe willows but I have to admit I’ve seen most of them on other trees more then then globe willows.

The sun is almost down and as I cross the grass to the stepping stones that lead to the little house shed in the back I can feel our little pug occasionally jumping into the back of my leg.  Oh she’s sooo happy when I’m roaming around in the back yard.  I’m in a ancient mood of “I knew something was gonna happen today” that I really try to ignore her.  I open the shed door and check for anything unwelcome.  Bees, spiders, stranger….nope everything good.  I give a “thank God!” moment as I see the black metal t-post looking object leaning against the shelf my tree clippers are on.  I quickly grab the metal bar and head towards the alleyway.

Opening the gate I quickly step out into the alley way and I’m already embarrassed as all get out.  The cars fly by me just a few steps away.  I’m not dressed for public, I was dressed to get ready for a shower…not to be out in the alley in the middle of the night.  Shorts, tiny tank top that hardly covers me.  I wouldn’t even wear this to do they yard much less to be seen in it.  As the cars fly by on the very busy highway I pray no one from work sees me.  I don’t know which I’m worried about more scaring someone off or maybe attracting someone to take a picture.  I probably look like some type of hoar right now.  Hair down and messy, short shorts, tiny tank top that’s almost see through, and a flash light in my hand calling for more attention.  My face is turning red and I almost want to jump back into my yard to go get dressed.  Shaking my head I bend over the water main cover, turn on the flashlight and starting prying the metal off the hole.  If I don’t suck up my embarrassed moment I’m likely to have my house flooded because I’m worried someone driving by a 50 miles an hour in the evening can recognize someone.  Still I’m scared to death..  I could loose a promotion in the future for being dressed like this in public.  I quickly move and turn my back to the public speeding by.  “OH my gosh, please don’t recognize backside”  Removing the metal I flash the light in.  yep, water line.  I place the metal in and turn.  It’s off, then I turn more to turn it off,….and it’s on again.  That’s strange.  I ponder for a second then turn it slower the counter-clock wise….the water slows as the needle begins to turn to 0, then I turn more…and it turns on again…”what” …ok lets go back.  I turn it clockwise, it’ begins to turn off, then suddenly turns on again.  “Well hell” I think.  I get it.  Does not make since to me but both ways turns the water on.  There’s no ~tug~ that tells you it’s off.  I balance the knob until the needle goes to 0.  Then I quickly head back into the house.  “YES!” All water is off.  I quickly call my awaiting man on the phone.  “got it”  I say happily, “no more water at all, Thank God!”  I quickly tell him how it’s strange because no matter which way I turn it, the water would turn back on.  I hear his sexy voice state “your such a girl!  I’ll explain to you the mechanics but first I’ve got to find someone for you.”

“I can call the plumber” I tell him matter of fact.  ” I know it’ll cost money but I have to have water this weekend.

“no!” he yells. “Do you have any idea how much that will cost.”

“I know it’ll be expensive. I’m betting seventy five dollars to shut off the valve under the sink.  I’m not gonna ask them to turn the handle for me since i can’t turn it.”

“No.” He states again.  “your looking more like two hundred dollars.”

“What!?” shocked “Just to turn a knob”

“Yes” he states back as matter of fact.

Sadly I recline “I’m in the wrong profession” I state.  I think how hard we both work and how dangerous both of our jobs can be and I wonder why I just didn’t go into plumbing.  What an easy job it must be.  I tell him what I’m thinking and he tells me I don’t have the whole picture.

“Your looking at the simple things.  Plumbing is probably one of the hardest and most disgusting jobs you can have.  Think at what most people would call them for.”

“Hmmm, yes, your right.  I wouldn’t want their job.”  I realize as I think of a million large butted people sitting on a commode.  I realize plumbers have that right to charge an arm and a leg.  Just like anyone dealing every day with peoples nasty left overs.  Trash people, waste people, surgery, janitors…yep, their job is very dangerous and they are worth every penny to say the least.  Signing I listen to his list of people he’s calling around town for me.

At last he gets a hold of his friend who’s luckily out on a date in town.  “He’ll be over soon” my sweetie informs me.  I can hear the concern in his voice as he tells me again that he’s not angry at the situation but concerned for me since he’s unable to be here when things go wrong.  I explain to him I’m tired of everything going wrong in the house, in my life, in our life and I’m just feed up.  Everything just keeps happening to me.  I hear his concern, his worry.  He has the right to be.  I’ve already told him I was leaving him.  He refused to hear it.  Refused to give me what I was seeking, I refused to give him what he was seeking.  We finally had ended it with we agree to disagree and we take each day as that…a day at a time.  He wants everything to be perfect for me.  I don’t want him to hurt though, he deserves every minute of it.  But I love him to much for it to be so.

Sometimes I sit and think how much easier this would be if I didn’t love him.  Much easier.  The best advice my mother had give me was “If you love him don’t leave him otherwise you’ll regret it no matter what he did.”  I agreed it was good advice..but screw up and screw up he kept doing what he should not have…and finally I can no longer live in that world.  It’s a world I’ll talk about later that I’m still in.  It’s a world he’s trying to keep me in and his voice has every emotion in it.  I can almost feel the shatter of it.  It’s glass and the tinkering of hail stones that hits the glass every-time I get upset only makes me feel horrible.  I’m more worried for his safety then worried about our relationship.  I can live without him as my lover, but not as my friend.  I have to know he’s ok.  Though I have to admit seeing him later with some young sexy woman will drive me crazy and probably bring some form of depression…but better to be apart and see it, then him doing it behind my back and coming home with lies.

He explains me me who my hero will be tonight.  I grit my teeth and smile at the same time.  I love his friend.  Tall, sexy, sweet, smart..and so much like my own sweetie that I want to slap him.  He was part of the problem we had had in the past.  He helped cover what my husband had been doing.  In fact introduced and took my husband out to some clubs so he could hook up with some of the slutty girls he knew.   Now, as usual the same friend that helped pull us apart was the one that would be rescuing me in my distress.  I quickly ran upstairs and pulled off my short shorts and put on my ugly baggy blue jeans I had worn earlier.  I pulled my hair back instead of leaving it down.  It’s it ironic I was trying to make sure I looked my ugliest when he came over?  Since some of the rumors that had gotten out that my husband and I were having problems as I had foretold my husband some of his closest friends had turned against him and started to hit on me.  Wasn’t there a rule against that in the man world?  It revolted me to realize my husband had always picked his friends over his family….no matter what he wants to think…..and in the end his friends he thought would die for him would betray him before we even got a divorce.   I could not bare to have his ultimate friend and ultimate reason for our soon to be divorce to do like the others.  I would not tell him, it would only break his heart even more.  He would not believe me anyway.  He, as he always has, goes by his friends before his family.  I had tried to tell him when we got seperated that some of his friends had suddenly started hitting on me.  He grew angry and stated I was lying and full of it.  I quickly realized this was not a game I wanted to play.  I tried to tell him.  I tried to warn him years ago.  My husband is in the terms of men will die for each other, fight side by side each other, he believes there is nothing stronger the the brother hood bond of a mans friend.  He does not realize a woman that a man wants or thinks he wants or needs can bring entire countries to war, break families, and cause distruction.  It does not matter anymore anyway.  What he has done is done…and his friends are his friends.  He can die and fight for them but I want no part.  I will be friendly and nice.  I respect each friend as long as they respect my husband.  Sighing I wait for his friend to show.  He does with a huge smile “Whats wrong” he ask gently.

“It’s up here” I state walking away and moving up stairs.  He follows suit with already tools in hand.  I realize no matter what my husbands friend did to me or pulled us apart.  I’m still very great-ful that when things are at their worst they come to help me out.

showing him to the bathroom  I point at the cut off valve “I’m hoping it’s because I’m a girl that it won’t turn.  I really hope so”.  My husbands friend gets down on the floor and I realize he and my husband could almost be brothers.  Both over 6’2, both very attractive and sexy.  My husband is more pronounced muscles and upper body strength.  Most men cower at him and most women flaunt their bodies at him.  His friend is more of the cute kind sexy look to him.  The “I could do no wrong”.  Which I know he could. My husband put it in the “that 50 shades of gray has nothing compared to him.”  I had looked at my husband like he was crazy. “he’s so sweet and kind.”  my husband had snorted at that.  ‘he’s into things you could not imagine.”  Watching this man under the sink trying to turn off a valve almost made me snort thinking back to my husbands and my conversation.

“So?” I ask watching him try to turn to knob “am I such a girl?”

“No.”  He states as I hand him a light so he can see better under the sink.  “It’s stuck.  The water here is so bad it’s corroded the metal.  I’m gonna have to replace it.”  Getting up he tells me he will be back in a few minutes.  He’s gonna have to run around town and find some place that will have the parts he needs to he can fix it.   It’s around 9:30 in the evening.  Good or bad, he is a good friend I realize.  Deep down I wonder is he doing this because he really wants to?  Or because he knows my husband is trying so hard to patch things up and he feels responsible?  Or is he doing this because we work together and he doesn’t want me to give him hell?  Or is he doing this because he’s just the type to help anyone out in need?  “I’m such a girl.” I think as I watch the lights of his pickup drift off.  My sweetie calls back concerned. “so?” he ask “are you ok?  I’m sorry you thought I was upset.  I wasn’t trying to fight with you.” he states.

“I know, I understand sweetie.  Your so far away and  it’s driving you crazy because you can’t help me.  I do understand that.  I was just upset because everything you told me to do, I had already done.”

“I know” he stated. “..and we were all just going through the check list”  talking about all the guys in the back that were helping him come up with things.  “I just wish I was there” he says softly.  ” I love you.”

“I love you too”…I say sadly and once again feel the pain in my chest.  I miss him.  I want to curl myself around him and actually protect him.  But trust?….I can never trust him again never…it will never be the same.  Taking a deep breath I go on “I’m gonna let you go.  He should be back shortly.”

“I’ll call you in a little while and check on you.” he states.

…..so his friend returns.  Fixes it.  I try offering him pizza and something to eat as payment since he had to break his date with his new girlfriend.  He fuses.  I pay him back for the replacement, luckily it’s a ten dollar piece and I’m not having to pay a plumber two hundred dollars.  When I go back in the ally to turn the water back on, I’m less nervous about anyone seeing me.  Got my ugly jeans on now.  Mwhahahahah!

So my sweetie’s friend stays in the kitchen and we talk.  He talks about what he’s up to, how tried he is, and what he’s accomplished.  I’m confused at this as I glance around and ask him if he’s sure he doesn’t want any pizza.  I feel much like my husband hes making a plea for forgiveness.  Maybe this is normal, I wonder to myself.  It’s nice.  I’m not a people person.  I don’t have friends I hang out with, I don’t have people I talk with.  I’m a solitary person and happy to be so.  I feel awkward talking with him because it’s nice to hear about his life and what’s going on.  We talk for awhile and then he gives me a hug, I tell him thank you again and he leaves.  He’s such a good guy.  My husband is such a good guy.  Why do they have to be such bad relationships, I wonder sadly.  I like the girl his friend is dating.  She’s maybe a little to young for him, but she’s smart, funny, pretty and I work with her.  She’s knew to the area I work for, but she’s hard working and seems very honest and I love hard working honest people.  He’s such a good guy and they would make such a cute couple but much like my husband he’s tainted with something that can’t keep him honest.  It won’t last.  Should I warn her, surely she’s been warned.  Everyone knows him…I was warned with my husband and I refused to listen.

So that’s how my sept 6th went. …the weekend was strange.  My vehicle was also found with three bolts broke off…I had to  replace two tires, the handle on the cold water just feel off, water couldn’t be turned off…and then shortly after that my husband was at a stop light and the car just stopped and wouldn’t start……

I knew something was coming.  We survived and actually had good things come out of the bad things so we were up an upswing.  But I feel another wave about to hit.  The feeling is there but different. There’s something …or someone about to happen.

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