laughing matter

The other day I heard on the news that they were already taking applications for people who wanted to go live on the moon or mars.  The only catch was once your there, you can never come back.  Strangely the news stated there were a lot of people applying.

I want to ask why anyone would even want to do that…but I’m not.  I just feel for people who will actually go there and never come back.  Now if you could come back…yeah….I could see that.  Even if you had to live there like five years before returning.  Yes, maybe.  Be like a job.  However I don’t want to go.  I’ll tell you why…because…yep, another dream I had.  A hellacious dream I had.  It was short and ….scary, when It might have been exciting and beautiful but I don’t want to do that again.  So here again *bows* I am to share another emotional moment in a dream I had.

I suddenly awake or maybe become aware and I can feel my heart jump into my chest.  “no, no no no nooooo!” I scream in my head.  I can’t talk, I can’t really move.  I don’t think I’d want to anyway because I”m paralized with fright of what might happen if I do.  I’m kinda curled up, I think…really I can’t think I just want to back.  I’m flying through space faster than anything I could imagine.  I’m passing things in a blink of the eye.  Where’s earth, where’s my home, the trees, the fresh air..even the ground.  I want to lay on it, even in it.  Drink up the smell of dirt, the feel of the planet.  My home.  What of my family.  How am I alive!  Am I dead?  Oh God, I pray over and over and over again, please take me back, where am I going, I don’t want to be here.  How do I get back.  Suddenly I slow some, there to my right is a huge, huge, huge planet.  It’s a dark brownish color.  I see no blue at all.  It’s huge, I’m almost curious but not too much because I want to go back to earth.  I never ever in my life realized how much a part of my soul is in earth.  I suddenly realized how very alone you would feel without your world.  It’s heart ache like nothing you could imagine.  Especially if you couldn’t even look upon it.  Would I ever see our planet, or even our solar system again?  I wasn’t in our solar system, though the planet I was whizzing by reminded me of Jupiter. What ever pulled me and dragged me away so so soooo far away and why I don’t know why.  It seemed such a cruel joke.  I didn’t know if I was dead and my spirit was just gonna float around for eternity in space.  Maybe millions upon millions of years, somehow I’ll pass by earth again.  If I wasn’t dead, how do I get back.  How am I even alive.  The speed I was going should shatter me.  I’m not in a craft, I’m just curled up in a ball and flying….whizzing by things.  But that large Jupiter planet is what I must have been there for.  Because as soon as I noted that planet, I was back home and waking up.  My heart still pounding I climbed out of bed and never wanted to sleep again.  I laid on the floor and thanked God for bringing me back.  You can lose everything, your family, your friends, your money, your health, even your life…but you never, never, never, ever realize how much your loved and are truly apart of this world until your taken out of the solar system.  I would have been happy with just a piece of rock from earth with me.  The energy and vibe, the aliveness’s apart of you, apart of me.  You can die and turn to ash or dirt, but your still home.  Your soul can go to heaven but you will steal feel peace knowing apart of you is home on the planet.

I would never!  wish a dream like that to anyone.  It sounds cool doesn’t it?  It’s not, it’s horrible.  I feel like I let myself down.  In my dreams I visit what I would say are other realities or worlds, but that one was to real, to personal.  I feel I wish I had confidence to have gone further or maybe seen if I could have gone down into that huge world…but I swear it was real, to real….and I didn’t know it was a dream.  No No No..never again.  So now I hope I never leave this world.  I love flying in airplanes, I love roller-coasters..but that dream I recently had not to long ago….I…just don’t know.  I think the closer I’m to the ground the safer I feel.  I don’t want another space trip.


One thought on “ laughing matter

  1. Hello Seepurple,

    That was an intense dream and interesting dream that you had there, clearly that kind of dream/experience is too much for some people, but I think that I would have enjoyed it somewhat but I would probably have missed some things as well from Earth and the emptiness of space and traveling in the way that you were is probably a bit terrifying/scary to most people; but I do understand your thoughts/feeling/et cetera on this, and I agree that most people would have to experience it to realize how they would really feel in such a situation/dream.

    About the Mars One mission/program/whatever, I would not want to be among the first people to go on such a mission but I might want to go if it is successful and once things there are stabilized enough even if I never get to come back to Earth (which would be a bit hard in some ways I imagine, but I think that I could do it if things were stable enough there one day because my connections with my planet/culture/system/situation/et cetera here on Earth is not as strong as yours for various reasons), here is an interesting video about some of the volunteers for Mars One:

    Thank you for sharing your dream Seepurple. 🙂

    -John Jr

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