advise: How to deal with humiliation



A college girl named Julie went with her boyfriend to eat lunch with his friends.  Julie’s boyfriend Erik and his best friend James always talked about their female friend Samantha and how wonderful she was and how they both had always had the biggest crush on her.  


That afternoon in the sunlit dinner Julie, her boyfriend Erik, and his friend James sat down with the notorious Samantha for lunch.  Julie knew from what her boyfriend had told her that his friend James was hoping to catch Samantha eye and impress  her in hopes to ask her out.  

Samantha was beautiful, blonde, the cutest clothes very hip.  Julie was blue jeans, t-shirt and had been in class since 7am this morning.  She did not feel pretty and was not happy to see her boyfriend googling Samantha at every move.  Helping her sit, pulling her chair for her, asking her what her favorite meal was and Oh how ironic that was his.  She also didn’t like the fact everything she tried to put in edge wise was knocked down or just flatly ignored by the whole group.  The conversation went to a three some of chatty fun stories and what her boyfriend and the evil Samantha had in common.  Both were English majors, which suited Julie just fine.  She was a Science major but she loved books and had even had a few offers from previous professors to become her editor.  Because sadly, she could tell a wonderful story…but as her professors stated “you’ll become famous one day…but your grammar and spelling suck”.  So she listened to her boyfriend, his friend, and the evil samantha talk about great novels.  Many of the Novels Julie had read in elementary school or Junior high…and many were…well pretty boring but I guess interesting for the most  part.  She smiled, nodded, and held back her anger for being kicked to the side every time she tried to say something.

The order for the meal came and went, the food came and went.  Finally at the end the beautiful Samantha turned to Julie and stated “Oh, I forgot you were even there.  What was your name again?”  Julie glanced at her boyfriend who kept ignoring her, swallowing her pride she beamed a soft smile “Oh, I forget names all the time.  It”s ok.  My name is Julie”

Samantha glowers and starts to laugh as she looks at the boys.  “Now boys, we need to change the subject.  I’m sure this conversation is way over Julie’s head.  We need to talk about something she might know.”  

Julie looks taken back “But I know books, I’ve read the books your talking about.  Please continue I think it’s pretty interesting.” 

Samantha smiles “Oh honey, it’s a good try but we know it’s over your capacity.” All three laugh.



This happens all the time.  Just different people and different places.  Sometimes its because your studying another field and someone things your just stupid because your not studying what their studying.

Sometimes it’s a racial issue…

Sometimes it’s a sexual issue…

Sometimes it’s a country issue..

Sometimes it’s a personal issue…

Each situation is different but I can tell you what should happen in this situation.  

As much as Julie feels she cares about her boyfriend the following needs to tell her to hike off to someone else’s arms;

1.  He has no respect for her as a person.

When a man does not respect you..or a woman why would you even want to be with them?  They definitely don’t want to be with you.  There’s something he’s using you for.  Better find out what it is and get out.  actually get smart and just leave..who cares what he wants, he doesn’t care about you.

2. He has no respect for her when others disrespect her.

This is even worse.  I’ve seen a million men and women have no respect for their significant others.  Heck some even their families….but when it comes to others disrespecting them it’s like spitting on their property.  Even the worst of men and women with protect what they feel are theirs.  If you have others disrespect you or treat you bad with your significant other…run.  That means there’s not even an agenda in keeping you.  Your either a play thing he doesn’t need or want or your a hooker he’s fix-en to pimp out for money, drugs or prostitution.  A man or woman will even beat their loved ones to death but the majority will kill any other person that touches them.  If your in number 2….like Julie is in…run person run….

3.  Realize when two other people want each other or want to play they want each other and let them know your not stupid, blind or ignorant.

I understand Julie for playing the “I know what your all doing but I”m not gonna say anything” issue.  What Julie needs to do is put them on the spot and …well make a scene but not a movie scene.  Let them know.  How I see it playing out.  Who cares if the other girl does not know Julie’s background.  Who cares if Julie had offers for books to be published, who cares, who cares…they don’t.  Bringing that up will only make it look like she’s desperate for attention.  Julie needs to bring out the obvious…like so….

Julie glances at the beautiful evil girl and smiles ” Lets do switch to a simpler topic for me.  How about you and my boyfriend sit here the next five minutes and decide if you two want to really hook up.  Or if the hunt of the game is all you two really want?”  

Samantha glances at her strangely “do what?”

Julie smiles as she begins to pick up her books “I”m sure in five minutes you two can decide if you want to date or not.  Heck your like twins and it looks like if my boyfriend doesn’t take you here on the table that maybe you’ll jump in his lap…” Glancing over at Eriks friend as Erik is trying to get Julie attention. “I don’t think Samantha is going to go out with you.   She’s going to go out with my ex.”   

Erik looks stunned “What ex?”

“You.” She smiles and begins to leave.  Of course Erik follows her out trying to make amends while the other sit dumb founded.  Julie leaves the restaurant but remains calm.  “Look Erik, apparently I’m to stupid for your friends.  Apparently we have nothing in common.  And apparently you only like talking with women since that’s all you talk her.  I’m smart, young, and attractive even in my broken down blue jeans.  I’ve got class tomorrow and tomorrow is another day.  I’ll find someone else.  I’ll always be your friend but nothing more.”  She walks away.

Reality she will walk away get in the car and cry her eyes out.  Might even grab some ice cream or go on the breakup diet and loose 10 lbs….but in the long run she’ll love herself and be happy. 

Always remember we women and men are suppose to compliment each other.  One completes the other.  One does not override the other.  Yes, one might be more of a leader..and hopefully the man is.  But if you don’t know what a good leader is you need to read about it and find some.  If your a leader man or woman remember a good leader knows when to follow.


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